Instead, I chose two films that were films I had never seen before, but heard of.  I did watch a few more films than needed, as I desired to get as many films in as possible.  Of course, “Suspiria”, “[REC]” (an excellent film from Spain, which was remade here as the equally impressive “Quarantine”), “Paranormal Activity” (another excellent film which, as did the previous film, saw a sequel this year), and “Zombieland” were films I could have reviewed, as I watched those as well.  In the end, however, I decided to stick with a theme of sorts.

With that, I give you…

31 Days of Howl-oween

A Review of Films Filled with Frights

Day 30

Film #30

~ Night of the Creeps ~

Director:  Fred Dekker
Year:  1986
Cast: Jason Lively, Steve Marshall, Jill Whitlow, Tom Atkins, Allan Kayser
Language:  English
Country:  United States
Specs:  88 mins. / Color / OAR 1.85:1 / MPAA Rating: R

A large group of alien brain parasites escape from a space ship in space and land on Earth, where they infect many humans in a small town, turning them into zombies.  When college student Chris Romero (Lively) meets Detective Ray Cameron (Atkins), he learns the horrible truth behind is towns secret.  It’s up to the two of them to stop the menacing leeches, and save the remaining members of their community, before they all become members of the walking dead.

“Well, I’ve got good news and bad news girls.  The good news is your dates are here” “What’s the bad news?”  “They’re dead”.  A great line delivered from Atkins’ Detective is just one of the many campy memorable lines delivered in this over-the-top zombie-fest of camp.  What works in addition to the snappy dialogue, is the impressive special effects and make-up, similar to the film Dekker would follow this one up with.

It was because of this film that Dekker was able to do “Monster Squad”, and it’s obvious what was seen in this talented filmmaker.  While the film never claims to be a serious horror pic, it delivers plenty of excellent moments, such as the zombie dog, and the lawnmower death (which Peter Jackson also used in one of his earlier films!).

Hailing back from when many films featured a blonde and brunette pair of gents, it was refreshing to see Dekker have a twist by making one of them a handicap.  It particularly made the phone call that character makes to Chris all the more dramatic.

The film is definitely gory, in typical zombie fashion, featuring striking special effects (particularly the way the zombies are killed!).  Seeing the bodies on the ground with the breeding nest that was their head isn’t for the squeamish or faint of heart.

Rounding out the enjoyment factor of the film is the music.  I’ve stated numerous times that music can help a picture, many times saving it from being an utter failure.  The time around, having both contemporary (for the time of the films production), 80’s synth, and classic rock is convivial and distinct.

One of the better zombie films that I’ve seen.  It would be interesting to see a revisiting of this material.

No bag of rocks here, nor handfuls of SMARTIES.  Only delectable treats.

My Rating:  **** / B-

Available on Amazon: Night of the Creeps [Blu-ray]

and to watch it instantly on your computer

on Amazon Video on Demand: Night of the Creeps (Theatrical Version)

Stay tuned…

In any case, I’m not so sure any film should feature the word “BAD” in its title?  Does that word serve as a premonition for my review of this film?  Read on to find out…

31 Days of Howl-oween

A Review of Films Filled with Frights

Day 15

Film #15

~ Bad Channels ~

Director:  Ted Nicolaou
Year:  1992
Cast: Paul Hipp, Martha Quinn, Robert Factor, Aaron Lustig, Michael Huddleston
Language:  English
Country:  United States
Specs:  88 mins. / Color / OAR 1.33:1 / MPAA Rating: R

An alien and his robot henchman land in a small town to take hostage a small radio station and its on air disc jockey, Dan O’Dare (Hipp).  Using the airwaves to hypnotize unsuspecting women, the alien then uses a transporter device to shrink the women to doll-size hostages for his collection.  However, inquisitive reporter Lisa Cummings (Quinn) is intent on learning what strange occurrences have befallen her small town, and it’s up to her to convince the local authorities of her findings, thus rescuing the captive women, freeing the affable jockey, and saving the small town from impending doom.

The B-ist of B-movies, this film feels like an Ed Wood reject.  The acting is atrocious, the story is average at best, and the effects have the appearance of a high school car wash funded production.     The segments in which the alien hypnotizes the women by use of hallucinatory rock music videos is entertaining, but nothing a repeat viewing of a VHS recording of Riki Rachtman’s MTV Headbangers Ball wouldn’t reproduce.  By doing so, you’d likely even get an appearance or two from Martha Quinn (who used to be a VJ on MTV), without the boring storyline.

I’m not sure why the film never quite reached the entertainment value of Full Moons other franchise that preceded this film by a few years (“Puppet Master”)?  I think, as I stated in my review yesterday of that film, the puppets having a personality played a large part.  Here, the alien is simply an ugly indistinguishable man-in-suit, with little to no defining characteristics.  Coupled with the less than stellar acting, I think I can put a finger on it.  If only the always entertaining Rifftrax would give it a spin, I’d say it’s worth a second viewing!

The most entertaining aspect of the film was the post credits sequence, which features an appearance by a character who himself goes on to a series of b-movies, of which I have yet to view as well.  A close second would be the line “Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard”, which is a little in-joke to “The Three Stooges’ Moe Howard, Larry Fine, and Shemp Howard.

Roger Corman, I owe you an apology…

My Rating:  ** / D

Available on Amazon: Full Moon Classics, Vol. 1

2008 SDCC poster for the as yet unrealized remake of Red Sonja, starring Rose McGowan

Robert Rodriguez is all set to remake two sword and sorcery tales originally made in the 80′s.  While his take on Red Sonja has seen many delays (MTV Article), and the previously announced remake of Fire and Ice I mentioned in Part 1 has yet to see the light of day, he continues to comment that they are indeed coming.  When compiling the list of films for this 5 part blog, I decided to include the original films in my list of 25 Fantasy Films of the 80′s.  Of course, he apparently will be working on a sequel to Sin City (DigitalSpy.com article) (better known as Sin City 2), and the next installment in the Spy Kids franchise (ScreenRant.com article) (Spy Kids 4) before tackling the world of barbarians and magicians.  Thankfully, given his success with most of his other films, I’m highly confident they will be above average pictures.  What chance do they have of being better than the originals?  Read on to see…

25 Fantasy Films of the 80’s

Part III

Film #11

~ Red Sonja ~

Director:  Richard Fleischer
Year:  1985
Cast:  Brigitte Nielsen, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sandahl Bergman, Paul L. Smith, Ernie Reyes, Jr.
Language:  English
Country:  United States
Specs:  89 mins. / Color / OAR 2.35:1 / MPAA Rating: PG-13

After her entire village is brutally murdered, a young woman named Sonja (Nielsen) begins a quest to seek revenge on the evil queen (Bergman) responsible.  Along the way, she meets up with Kalidor (Schwarzenegger), a barbarian who secretly aids her in her quest, which also entails rescuing the magical orb from the hands of the queen before she can use it to destroy all mankind.

Having enjoyed Conan so much, I went into Red Sonja with expectations to match.  Moments in, when the film opted for a narrated flashback montage in lieu of a linear pre-credit sequence, I knew that I was in for an entirely different beast.

There were a number of factors that prevented me from truly enjoying this foray into the world of the scarlet savage.  I never was quite sure which was worse, to be honest:  the dialogue or the acting?  The best and most interesting part of dialogue came not because of clever writing, but because of its connection to another film starring Nelson.  In Rocky IV, just as here, we get to hear the line (or a variation thereof) “I can’t kill it.  It’s a Machine!”  (In Rocky the line is “I can’t beat him.  He’s not a man, he’s a machine!”)  The story itself doesn’t help.  For reasons likely found elsewhere, the character of Conan has his name changed here to Kalidor.  Such nonsense as a zip line across a chasm conveniently in the middle of nowhere just outside the fortress walls, Sonja is in some Asian Sword Training Camp as the only female (how or why she was taken in is a mystery?), the magical “throne” room is filled with thousands of lit candles (who took the time to light all these, and why?), the glowing orb (what exactly is that?).

Perhaps the most perplexing aspect of this film, however, is the completely out of place and random shot of the evil queens magic mirror and the reflection of the nude dancer.  Was this supposed to be a humorous scene of the magician conjuring up the wrong spell?  It comes across completely gratuitous, bringing an otherwise goofball children’s movie out of that age group.  Why do I assume its geared towards children?  Why else would they feature, as comedic elements, the fat guy who is always after food, the young boy who is a complete brat and worthy of a spanking (as Sonja points out repeatedly through the film), the goofball servant to the queen, and as previously mentioned, the bumbling wizard who conjures up the wrong spells?

Were the choices in effects any better, I may have nicer things to say.  However, the strange backlit myst simply to have a “cool” shot in the doorway (they are in a dungeon.  Where is all that backlight coming from?), the comically chintzy looking glowing green orb, and the few random dismemberments (for shock value, no doubt) all left me scratching my head.

Remarkably, the film isn’t unwatchable.  No, that film would be “Conquest”.  It’s simply silly.  Which is unfortunate.  Especially since Fleischer has proven he is capable of much finer fare.

My Rating:  *** / C-

Available from Amazon: Red Sonja [Blu-ray] and Red Sonja

Or Amazon Video on Demand: Red Sonja

Film #12

~ Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes ~

Director:  Hugh Hudson
Year:  1984
Cast:  Christopher Lambert, Ian Holm, Ralph Richardson, Andie MacDowell
Language:  English
Country:  United Kingdom
Specs:  143 mins. / Color / OAR 2.20:1 / MPAA Rating: PG

Orphaned as a boy in the jungles of Africa, young Tarzan (Lambert), heir to the Earl of Greystoke, is raised by apes as one of their own.  Years later, an expedition led by Philippe D’Arnot (Holm) comes across Tarzan, and, realizing who he is, tutors him in English and other civilized mannerisms, before bringing back to his family’s estate.  However, Tarzan finds it difficult to assimilate into the new life, even as he begins to fall in love with the young ward of the estate, Jane (MacDowell), and must make one of the most difficult decisions of his life.

I’ve always been a fan of the Lord of the Jungles adventures on the silver screen.  Without question, one of the most famous sounds in the world would be the “call” of Tarzan, so wonderfully created by Johnny Weissmuller in the Tarzan films of the 1930s and beyond.  So it was with great surprise when the closest thing to a “call” that this Tarzan delivered was the grunts of a silverback gorilla, or the grumbling roar of a tiger.

The films opens with truly stunning cinematography of the lush and exotic jungles of Africa, with enough waterfalls, animals, and vegetation to fill the largest of HDTV’s.  The beautiful score echos across the landscape in the most pleasant way.  However, the film never quite lived up to the expectations that I had.

While the make-up effects of the gorillas was rather impressive, I did find myself a number of times in the film noticing that it was a man-in-suit, briefly pulling me out of the experience.  A nude Tarzan parading around the jungle leant an air of believability to the film, until we see him grow into a young man.  For some zany reason, this jungle man who had no reason to wear clothes of any kind, didn’t have any hair on his body, sans the top of his head!  No facial hair or chest hair whatsoever.  I easily could have looked over this one inconsistency, had the filmmakers themselves not brought attention to this in one of the most confusing segments of the film.  When the wild man is found by the explorer D’Arnot, he sits down for a lesson in shaving, even getting a straight razored massage himself!  BUT HE HAS NO FACIAL HAIR!

Also, for some reason Tarzan not only learned to live like an ape, he also miraculously was imbued with the strength of these powerful beasts.  In one scene, he is brutally attacked by a silverback gorilla, with not one broken, or bruised, part on his body.  To top it off, near the end of the film he lifts and carry’s a full grown dead silverback male gorilla as if it were no more than a small sack of potatoes.  Anyone with half the sense would easily understand that these large animals weigh nearly 400 – 500 lbs!

The film did lose some of its luster once Tarzan entered the civilized world, but not enough to label it boring.  Generally, an enjoyable, but flawed, film.

My Rating:  *** / C+

Available from Amazon: Greystoke – The Legend of Tarzan

Or Amazon Video on Demand: Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes

Film #13

~ Ladyhawke ~

Director:  Richard Donner
Year:  1985
Cast:  Matthew Broderick, Rutger Hauer, Michelle Pfeiffer, Leo McKern, Alfred Molina, John Wood
Language:  English
Country:  United States
Specs:  121 mins. / Color / OAR 2.20:1 / MPAA Rating: PG-13

Philippe Gaston (Broderick), a thief facing execution, escapes from the Bishop of Aquila’s (Wood) dungeons with the help of a mysterious knight (Hauer) who travels with a hawk at his side.  When an even more mysterious woman (Pfeiffer), who is accompanied by a shadowy dark wolf, appears on the scene, Gaston learns a terrible secret, which requires that he return to the Bishop to set right the dark magic that has bewitched the trio.

Apart from the very dated 80s soundtrack, there is little in this film to not like.  This wonderful fairy tale sword and sorcery pic is an example on excellence in filmmaking.  The subtle mix of action with comedy is something Donner does well, and the director doesn’t deter from his proven formula here.  Broderick shines in his role as a “Mousey” character who is tasked with an impossible task.  Pfeiffer is stunning, and makes it very easy to see how, as it is told in the film, that all who see her character become smitten with her.  Hauer, as always, is commanding in his performance as the mysterious man in black with the hawk at his side.

Shot entirely in Italy, the film has scenery that any filmmaker would covet.  The costumes, sets, and locations are all excellently chosen, completely allowing the viewer to immerse themselves in the world of 12^th Century Europe.

Low on anything that sadly is all too common to films in the fantasy/sword and sorcery genre, this film is a wonderful treat for the family to gather around and escape to a land of magic and intrigue.

A very pleasant palate cleanser, indubitably.

My Rating:  ***** / A

Available from Amazon: Ladyhawke

Or Amazon Video on Demand: Ladyhawke

Film #14

~ Barbarian Queen ~

Director:  Héctor Olivera
Year:  1985
Cast:  Lana Clarkson, Katt Shea, Dawn Dunlap, Susana Traverso
Language:  English
Country:  United States
Specs:  70 mins. / Color / OAR 1.33:1 / MPAA Rating: R

When Roman forces invade her village, Queen Amathea (Clarkson) helplessly watches as her entire village is either massacred or taken as slaves.  Accompanied by two of her best female warriors, Amathea sets out to rescue her people, and bring vengeance upon those responsible for the travesty.

Where is Joel Robinson and his trusty robots when we need them?  The tone for this film is set seconds into it as we are witness to a topless young maiden frolicking about near a lake picking flowers, whereupon she is accosted and raped by a couple of barbarians.  We then travel to a small village where the people have the most primped and proper of 80s style haircuts, but for some reason cannot afford the leather to cover up even the smallest of breasts!  Were I to state that the dialogue is much better, I’d be accused of the gravest of lies.

The film plays more like a prison sexploitation film set in the world of sword and sandals than a swashbuckler.  The most obnoxious and degrading scene in the whole film comes during the “torture” scene with the barbarian queen herself and her bespectacled captor, proving that this film has little purpose beyond the aforementioned.

My Rating:  * / F

Available from Amazon: Barbarian Queen/Barbarian Queen 2: Empress Strikes

Film #15

~ Fire and Ice ~

Director:  Ralph Bakshi
Year:  1983
Cast:  Randy Norton, Cynthia Leake, Steve Sandor, Sean Hannon, Leo Gordon
Language:  English
Country:  United States
Specs:  81 mins. / Color / OAR 1.85:1 / MPAA Rating: PG

In the midst of a fierce battle between the two countries, Evil Queen Juliana and her son Prince Nekron of Icekeep kidnap Princess Teegra of Firekeep for Nekron to take as his bride.  However, Teegra is able to escape her captors and meets up with Larn, a wandering warrior without a home.  When Teegra is recaptured, Larn, along with the mysterious barbarian Darkwolf, set out to rescue her, and destroy the evil royals, ending their destructive rule over all the land.

It becomes apparent moments after the opening credits that this animated film is not your average Thundarr the Barbarian animated fare.  The wonderful musical score by William Kraft kicks in, with an equally excellent sound effects track to enhance the audible experience.  The photo realistic animation from director Bakshi and famed painter Frank Frazetta only solidifies that this wonderful little film stands head and shoulders above most other animated fare (as well as the live action entries in this category) of this period.

The barbarian tale with the scantily clad heroine features a story not too uncommon to this genre, however, the writing skills of comic book writers Gerry Conway and Roy Thomas (the latter no stranger to these type of stories, having penned hundreds of Conan the Barbarian stories for Marvel Comics) bring it a step above the others (which is only enhanced by the aforementioned elements) in a way that is both intriguing and absorbing at every turn.

The film did end rather abruptly, and the interiors of the glacial castle of villain Nekron did resemble Superman’s Fortress of Solitude, but these are minor quibbles to an otherwise above average sword and sorcery tale.

My Rating:  **** / B

Available from Amazon: Fire and Ice [Blu-ray]

Or Amazon Video on Demand: Fire and Ice

To Be Continued…

AVATAR
2009
Directed by: James Cameron
Cast: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana, Giovani Ribisi, CCH Pounder
Genre: Science Fiction
Rated PG-13 For intense epic battle sequences and warfare, sensuality, language and some smoking

Let me start by saying that I love science fiction/fantasy.  There is nothing like an engrossing story that pulls the reader/viewer into the fictional world created by an author/filmmaker intent on proving this other world may exist.  Over the years, such excellent works have graced both the printed page and the small screen that there is no shortage of sci-fi (not SyFy, as a certain network would have you believe) for one to escape into for months on end.  Some of my favorite novels in this escapist genre are Joe Haldeman’s “The Forever War”, George R.R. Martin’s “Song of Fire and Ice” series, Jack Finney’s “Body Snatchers”, Larry Niven’s “Ringworld”, Orson Scott Card’s “Ender’s Game”, and Isaac Asimov’s “Robot” series.  On the motion picture side, my favorites have been Robert Wise’s “The Day the Earth Stood Still”, Franklin J. Shaffner’s “Planet of the Apes”, Duncan Jones’ “Moon”, Stanley Kubrick’s “2001”, Ridley Scott’s “Alien”, and John Carpenter’s “The Thing”.  I’d even go so far as to say video games like “Doom 3” or “Bioshock” would be amongst the top in that prospective category.  Unfortunately, Avatar will never make it into that list.  Nor would it break the top 100, if I were to create such a list.

Don’t get me wrong.  This film is beautifully shot.  The 3D is spectacular, so much so that 10 minutes into the film the viewer is likely to forget they are watching a 3D film, and focus instead on the story.  This, I’m sad to say, is where the film falls short.  The script is a very bland “vanilla-plain” story about a disabled Marine who heads to another planet on a mission to mine the rare minerals needed to continue to power Earth.  Eventually, he longs to escape into the peaceful world of the “virtual reality-hybrid” planet Pandora, where he is without the constraints of crippled legs, and able to witness the majestic creatures called Navi in their natural habitat.  He eventually falls in love with a female Navi, and wrestles with the decision to press on with his objectives, or betray his race and live and love amongst the Navi.  While sci-fi has nearly always been a morality tale disguised as fictional other-worldly tales, the message of evil Americans killing off the peace loving new-age aliens is a bit heavy-handed.  There isn’t much disguising here.

Now, anyone who has seen Werner Herzog’s “Grizzly Man”, or heard the recent news about Sea World and it’s “Killer” whales incident, knows that even though creatures may be beautiful and majestic, we are best designed to avoid residing with them.  The fact that the human falls in love with the alien is no more romantic to me than the guy working with gorillas in their natural habitat would be.  For me, the special effects, as breathtaking as they may be, no more make this a great film than the special effects in the “Transformers” films, or “Armageddon”, make them great films.  Not even the engrossing 3D could save this one.  For me, it’s the first James Cameron film that falls far short of perfection.

Rating = ** / 5

DISTRICT 9
2009
Directed by: Neill Blomkamp
Cast: Sharlto Copley, Nathalie Boltt, William Allen Young
Genre: Science Fiction
Rated R For bloody violence and pervasive language

As a fan of science fiction, I appreciate when a film attempts to break ground.  I especially appreciate when a film takes a possibly tired story and gives it new life, with clever characterizations, twists, and plot points.  The story of “District 9”  takes place in a fictional place in South Africa.  When aliens land on Earth, global business conglomerate Multi-National United forces them into rigid this place, “containment zones “, where they are compelled to labor, even as MNU commandeers their otherworldly technology for profit.  What differentiates Blomkamp’s film from similarly themed tales is when he introduces the lead character as a common worker, as opposed to a military big shot.  His initial “real-world” characterization, and believable transformation from man with a mission to man-on-the-run is further grounded in reality by the impressions that you are watching a documentary.  The fact that the lead becomes a wanted man not by choice, but by circumstance further sets this film apart from more recent films with a similar theme.

I appreciated the fact that Blomkamp never treated his aliens as a grandiose spectacle.  There never was the moment in the film where the creature slowly rises from the water, camera set to a low angle, as the lights flicker and the music crescendos, allowing the character to realize he’s in over his head.  The aliens in the is film were simply another character.  They were grounded in the grittiness of the real world, and each of the characters had multiple sides to their persona.  And each of the actors in the film were relatively unknown, which only led to the escape into this “faux-documentary.”  I sense that Blomkamp is on track to have a very lengthy career in films.  I look forward to see what this talented young filmmaker will next bring to the cineplex.

Rating = **** / 5